Momwe Mungapambitsire Mabwenzi ndi Kukopa Anthu

"Momwe Mungapambitsire Mabwenzi ndi Kukopa Anthu" Ndi buku lodziwika kwambiri lolembedwa ndi Dale Carnegie, lofalitsidwa mu 1936 ndikusindikizidwa mzilankhulo zambiri padziko lapansi. Bukuli ndi malangizo othandiza komanso nkhani zamoyo.

Carnegie amagwiritsa ntchito zomwe ophunzira ake, abwenzi ndi omwe amamuzindikira monga zitsanzo, akuthandizira zomwe adawona ndi mawu ochokera kwa anthu otchuka.

Pasanathe chaka, mabuku opitilira miliyoni adagulitsidwa (ndipo onse, oposa 5 miliyoni adagulitsidwa ku United States kokha nthawi yomwe wolemba anali ndi moyo).

Mwa njira, mverani "Maluso 7 a Anthu Othandiza Kwambiri" - buku lina lodziwika bwino lodzikulitsa.

Kwa zaka khumi, Momwe Mungapambitsire Mabwenzi ndi Kukopa Anthu yakhala ili pamndandanda wotsatsa kwambiri wa The New York Times, womwe ndi mbiri yabwino kwambiri.

Munkhaniyi ndikupatsani chidule cha buku lapaderali.

Choyamba, tiwona mfundo zitatu zoyankhulirana ndi anthu, kenako malamulo 6 omwe, mwina angasinthe momwe mumawonera maubale.

Zachidziwikire, kwa otsutsa ena, bukuli liziwoneka ngati la Amereka mopitilira muyeso, kapena kukopa chidwi cha anthu. M'malo mwake, ngati simukuwoneka okondera, mutha kupindula ndi upangiri wa Carnegie, chifukwa cholinga chake ndikusintha malingaliro amkati, osati mawonekedwe akunja.

Mukawerenga nkhaniyi, onani kuwunikanso gawo lachiwiri la buku la Carnegie: Njira za 9 Zolimbikitsira Anthu ndi Kuyimirira Mfundo Yanu

Momwe mungakhudzire anthu

Chifukwa chake, musanatenge chidule cha buku "Momwe Mungapambitsire Anzanu ndi Kukopa Anthu" lolembedwa ndi Carnegie.

1. Osandiweruza

Polumikizana ndi anthu, choyambirira, ziyenera kumveka kuti tikulimbana ndi zolengedwa zopanda nzeru komanso zotengeka, zotengeka ndi kunyada komanso kudziona ngati opanda pake.

Kudzudzula kwakhungu ndi masewera owopsa omwe angayambitse kunyada kuphulika m'magazini ya ufa.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) - Wandale waku America, kazembe, wopanga, wolemba komanso encyclopedia, adakhala m'modzi mwamphamvu kwambiri ku America chifukwa chamikhalidwe yake yamkati. Ali mwana, anali wamwano komanso wonyada. Komabe, m'mene adakwera pachimake pachipambano, adadziletsa pakuweruza anthu.

"Sindimakonda kunena zamwano aliyense, ndipo ndimangonena zabwino zokha zomwe ndimadziwa za iwo," analemba motero.

Kuti muwongolere anthu moyenera, muyenera kukhala ndi luso komanso kudziletsa, phunzirani kumvetsetsa ndikukhululuka.

M'malo momuimba mlandu, muyenera kuyesetsa kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake munthuyo wachita izi osati zina ayi. Ndizopindulitsa kwambiri komanso zosangalatsa. Izi zimabweretsa kumvana, kulolerana ndi kupatsana.

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) - m'modzi mwa mapurezidenti odziwika bwino aku America komanso womasula akapolo aku America, pankhondo yapachiweniweni adakumana ndi zovuta zambiri, njira yomwe idawoneka ngati yosatheka kuyipeza.

Pamene theka la dzikolo ladzudzula mwaukali asitikali apakati, a Lincoln, "wopanda zoyipa kwa aliyense, ndi kufunira zabwino onse," adakhala bata. Amakonda kunena kuti:

"Osamawaweruza, tikadachitanso chimodzimodzi pamikhalidwe yofananayo."

Mdani atagwidwa, ndipo Lincoln, pozindikira kuti angathe kuthetsa nkhondo ndi kuwomba kamodzi, analamula General Meade kuti amenyane ndi adaniwo osayitanitsa bungwe lankhondo.

Komabe, iye anakana mwamphamvu kupita ku chiwembucho, chifukwa cha nkhondo yomwe idapitilira.

Malinga ndi zomwe mwana wa Lincoln, a Robert amakumbukira, bambowo adakwiya. Anakhala pansi ndikulembera kalata General Meade. Kodi mukuganiza kuti zinali ziti? Tiyeni tizinena mawu ngati awa:

“Wokondedwa wanga wamkulu, sindikukhulupirira kuti mukulephera kuzindikira kukula kwa tsoka lomwe Lee wathawa. Anali m'manja mwathu, ndipo tinayenera kumukakamiza kuti tichite mgwirizano womwe ungathetse nkhondo. Tsopano nkhondoyo ingapitirire mpaka kalekale. Ngati mukukayikira kuti muukire Lee Lolemba lapitali pomwe kulibe chiopsezo chilichonse, mungachite bwanji tsidya lina lamtsinje? Kungakhale kopanda tanthauzo kudikirira izi, ndipo tsopano sindikuyembekeza kupambana kulikonse kuchokera kwa inu. Mwayi wanu wagolide waphonyedwa, ndipo ndakhumudwa kwambiri ndi izi. "

Mwina mukudabwa zomwe General Meade adachita powerenga kalatayo? Palibe. Chowonadi ndi chakuti Lincoln sanamutume iye. Anapezeka m'mapepala a Lincoln atamwalira.

Monga adanenera Dr. Johnson, "Mulungu Mwiniwake saweruza munthu mpaka masiku ake atha."

Chifukwa chiyani tiyenera kumuweruza?

2. Onani ulemu mwa anthu

Pali njira imodzi yokha yokakamizira wina kuti achite zinazake: kuzikonza kuti akufuna kuzichita. Palibe njira ina.

Zachidziwikire, mutha kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu kuti mukwaniritse zomwe mukufuna, koma izi zimakhala ndi zotsatira zoyipa kwambiri.

Wafilosofi wotchuka komanso mphunzitsi John Dewey adati kufunitsitsa kwamunthu ndiko "kufunitsitsa kukhala wofunika." Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazosiyana zazikulu pakati pa anthu ndi nyama.

Charles Schwab, yemwe anabadwira m'banja losauka ndipo pambuyo pake adakhala bilionea, adati:

“Njira yomwe mungakhalire ndi luso lopambana mwa munthu ndikuzindikira kufunika kwake komanso chilimbikitso chake. Sindimatsutsa aliyense, koma nthawi zonse ndimayesetsa kupatsa munthu chilimbikitso kuti agwire ntchito. Chifukwa chake, ndili ndi nkhawa zopezeka zotamandika ndipo ndili ndi vuto loyang'ana zolakwitsa. Ndikakonda china chake, ndimavomereza ndi mtima wonse ndipo ndimayamika mowolowa manja. "

Zowonadi, sitimagogomezera kawirikawiri ulemu wa ana athu, abwenzi, abale ndi omwe timadziwa, koma aliyense ali ndi ulemu winawake.

Emerson, mmodzi mwa oganiza bwino kwambiri m'zaka za zana la 19, nthawi ina anati:

“Munthu aliyense amene ndimakumana naye ndi wapamwamba kuposa ine kudera lina. Ndipo ndine wokonzeka kuphunzira kuchokera kwa iye. "

Chifukwa chake, phunzirani kuzindikira ndikutsindika ulemu mwa anthu. Kenako mudzawona momwe mphamvu yanu ndi chidwi chanu m'dera lanu chidzawonjezeka modabwitsa.

3. Ganizirani ngati munthu wina

Munthu akamapita kokasodza, amaganizira zomwe nsombazo zimakonda. Ndicho chifukwa chake amavala mbedza osati sitiroberi ndi zonona, zomwe amakonda kwambiri, koma nyongolotsi.

Mfundo zofananazi zimawonedwa mu maubwenzi ndi anthu.

Pali njira yotsimikizika yamoto yokopera munthu wina - ndikuganiza ngati iye.

Mzimayi wina adakwiya ndi ana ake amuna awiri, omwe amapita ku koleji yotsekedwa ndipo samayankha konse akalata ochokera kwa abale awo.

Kenako amalume awo adapereka kubetcha kwa madola zana, nati akhoza kupeza yankho kwa iwo osafunsanso. Winawake adalandira kubetcha kwake, ndipo adalembera kalata abale ake. Pamapeto pake, mwa njira, adanena kuti anali kuyika $ 50 iliyonse ya izo.

Komabe, iye, sanayike ndalama mu emvulopuyo.

Mayankho adabwera nthawi yomweyo. Mwa iwo, adzukuluwo adathokoza "amalume okondedwa" chifukwa chowatchera khutu ndi kukoma mtima, koma adadandaula kuti sanapeze ndalama ndi kalatayo.

Mwanjira ina, ngati mukufuna kutsimikizira wina kuti achite zinazake, musanalankhule, khalani chete ndikuganiza za momwe akuonera.

Limodzi mwa upangiri wabwino kwambiri muukadaulo wochenjera wamayanjano a anthu lidaperekedwa ndi Henry Ford:

"Ngati pali chinsinsi chakuchita bwino, ndikumatha kuvomereza malingaliro a mnzake ndikuwona zinthu momwe iye akuwonera komanso kuchokera kwa iye mwini."

Momwe mungapambitsire anzanu

Chifukwa chake taphunzira mfundo zitatu zoyanjana. Tsopano tiyeni tiwone malamulo 6 omwe akuphunzitseni momwe mungapezere anzanu ndikukopa anthu.

1. Onetsani chidwi chenicheni kwa anthu ena

Kampani ina yamafoni idasanthula mwatsatanetsatane zokambirana patelefoni kuti ipeze mawu ofala kwambiri. Liwu ili lidakhala dzina laumwini "I".

Izi sizosadabwitsa.

Mukayang'ana zithunzi zanu ndi anzanu, mumayang'ana chithunzi cha ndani koyamba?

Inde. Koposa china chilichonse, timadzidalira.

Katswiri wodziwika bwino wamaganizidwe a ku Viennese Alfred Adler adalemba kuti:

“Munthu amene alibe chidwi ndi anthu ena amakumana ndi zovuta zazikulu m'moyo. Ophonya ndi olephera kubweza nthawi zambiri amachokera mwa anthu otere. "

Dale Carnegie iyemwini adalemba masiku akubadwa a abwenzi ake, kenako adawatumizira kalata kapena telegalamu, yomwe inali yopambana kwambiri. Nthawi zambiri anali yekhayo amene amakumbukira mwana wobadwa.

Masiku ano, ndizosavuta kuchita izi: ingonetsani tsiku lomwe mukufuna kalendala pa smartphone yanu, ndipo chikumbutso chidzagwira ntchito patsiku loyenera, pambuyo pake mudzangolemba uthenga wothokoza.

Chifukwa chake, ngati mukufuna kupambana anthu kwa inu, lamulo # 1 ndi ili: khalani ndi chidwi chenicheni ndi anthu ena.

2. Kumwetulira!

Iyi ndiye njira yosavuta yopangira chithunzi chabwino. Inde, sitikunena za pulasitiki, kapena, monga nthawi zina timati, "kumwetulira" waku America, koma za kumwetulira kwenikweni kochokera mkatikati mwa moyo; za kumwetulira, komwe kumayamikiridwa kwambiri pamisika yamagulu amalingaliro amunthu.

Mwambi wakale wachi China umati: "Munthu wopanda nkhope kumwetulira sayenera kutsegula shopu."

Frank Flutcher, mu imodzi mwazolengeza zake, adatibweretsera chitsanzo chotsatira chanzeru zaku China.

Tchuthi cha Khrisimasi chisanachitike, pomwe azungu akugula mphatso zambiri, adalemba izi m'sitolo yake:

Mtengo wakumwetulira pa Khrisimasi

Zilibe kanthu, koma zimapanga zambiri. Limalimbikitsa amene amaulandira popanda kupatsa moyo omwe amawupatsa.

Zimakhala kwakanthawi, koma kukumbukira kwake nthawi zina kumakhala kwamuyaya.

Palibe anthu olemera omwe angakhale popanda iye, ndipo palibe anthu osauka omwe sangakhale olemera ndi chisomo chake. Amakhala wachimwemwe mnyumba, mkhalidwe wokondweretsedwa mu bizinesi ndipo amakhala ngati chinsinsi kwa abwenzi.

Iye ndiye kudzoza kwa otopa, kuunika kwa chiyembekezo kwa osimidwa, kunyezimira kwa dzuwa kwa omwe akhumudwitsidwa, komanso njira yabwino kwambiri yachilengedwe yachisoni.

Komabe, singagulidwe, kapena kupemphedwa, kapena kubwerekedwa, kapena kubedwa, chifukwa ndi mtengo womwe sungabweretse phindu lililonse ngati sunaperekedwe ndi mtima wangwiro.

Ndipo ngati, m'mphindi zomaliza za Khrisimasi, zikachitika kuti mutagula kena kake kuchokera kwa ogulitsa athu, mumapeza kuti atopa kwambiri kotero kuti sangakumwetulireni, kodi mungakufunseni kuti muwasiye amodzi anu?

Palibe amene amafunikira kumwetulira kwambiri ngati wina yemwe alibe chilichonse choti angapereke.

Chifukwa chake, ngati mukufuna kupambana pa anthu, lamulo # 2 likuti: kumwetulira!

3. Kumbukirani mayina

Mwina simunaganizirepo za izi, koma pafupifupi kwa munthu aliyense, phokoso la dzina lake ndimamvekedwe okoma komanso ofunikira kwambiri.

Kuphatikiza apo, anthu ambiri samakumbukira mayina pachifukwa choti samasamala nawo. Amadzipezera zifukwa zokhalira otanganidwa. Koma mwina satanganidwa kwambiri kuposa Purezidenti Franklin Roosevelt, yemwe anali m'modzi mwa anthu apakati pazomwe zidachitika padziko lapansi kumapeto kwa zaka za zana la 20. Ndipo adapeza nthawi yoloweza mayina ndikutchula mayina ngakhale kwa anthu wamba.

Roosevelt adadziwa kuti imodzi mwazosavuta, koma nthawi yomweyo njira zothandiza komanso zofunika kukopa anthu kuti akhale kumbali yake, ndikuloweza pamtima mayina ndikuthekera kopangitsa munthu kudzimva kukhala wofunikira.

Zimadziwika kuyambira kale kuti Alexander the Great, Alexander Suvorov ndi Napoleon Bonaparte adadziwa mwawona ndi kutchula mayina a zikwi za asilikari awo. Ndipo ukunena kuti sungakumbukire dzina la mnzako watsopano? Ndizomveka kunena kuti simunakhale ndi cholinga chimenecho.

Makhalidwe abwino, monga Emerson adanena, amafuna kudzipereka pang'ono.

Chifukwa chake, ngati mukufuna kupambana anthu, lamulo # 3 ndi: kuloweza mayina.

4. Khalani womvetsera wabwino

Ngati mukufuna kukhala wokonda kukambirana, khalani omvera bwino poyamba. Ndipo izi ndi zophweka: muyenera kungolankhula wolankhulirana kuti akuuzeni za iye.

Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti munthu amene akuyankhula nanu amakonda kwambiri za iye komanso zofuna zake kuposa inu ndi zochita zanu.

Tidakonzedwa mwanjira yoti timadzimva kuti tili pakati pa chilengedwe chonse, ndipo timayesa pafupifupi chilichonse chomwe chimachitika mdziko lapansi mwa momwe timadzionera tokha.

Izi sizomwe zimalimbikitsa chidwi chaumunthu kapena kumukankhira ku narcissism. Kungoti ngati mutayika lingaliro loti munthu amakonda kulankhula za iye koposa zonse, simudzangodziwika kuti ndi wokonda kukambirana, komanso mudzakhala ndi mwayi wofananira.

Ganizirani izi musanayambe kukambirana nthawi ina.

Chifukwa chake, ngati mukufuna kupambana anthu, lamulo # 4 ndi ili: Khalani womvera wabwino.

5. Chitani zokambiranazo mozungulira zokonda za omwe amakulankhulani

Tanena kale a Franklin Roosevelt, ndipo tsopano tikupita kwa Theodore Roosevelt, yemwe adasankhidwa kukhala Purezidenti wa United States kawiri (mwa njira, ngati mukufuna kudziwa, onani mndandanda wonse wamapurezidenti aku US pano.)

Ntchito yake yodabwitsa idayamba motere chifukwa chakuti adakhudza kwambiri anthu.

Aliyense amene anali ndi mwayi wokumana naye pazinthu zosiyanasiyana adadabwitsidwa pakusiyanasiyana komanso kudziwa kwake.

Kaya anali wosaka mwansangala kapena wosonkhetsa sitampu, wodziwika pagulu kapena nthumwi, Roosevelt nthawi zonse amadziwa zomwe angakambirane ndi aliyense wa iwo.

Kodi anachita motani? Zosavuta kwambiri. Madzulo a tsikulo, Roosevelt akuyembekezera mlendo wofunikira, adakhala pansi madzulo kuti awerenge zolemba pamutu womwe uyenera kukhala wofunikira kwa mlendoyo.

Amadziwa, monga atsogoleri owona onse amadziwa, kuti njira yolunjika kumtima wamunthu ndikulankhula naye za zomwe zili pafupi kwambiri ndi mtima wake.

Chifukwa chake, ngati mukufuna kupambana anthu kwa inu, lamulo # 5 likuti: kambiranani mozungulira zokonda za omwe amakulankhulani.

6. Lolani Anthu Kumva Kufunika Kwawo

Pali lamulo limodzi lalikulu kwambiri pamakhalidwe a anthu. Ngati titsatira, sitidzalowanso m'mavuto, chifukwa zidzakupatsani anzanu ambiri. Koma ngati tithyola, timakumana ndi mavuto nthawi yomweyo.

Lamuloli likuti: nthawi zonse chitani zotere kuti winayo amveke kufunika kwanu. Pulofesa John Dewey adati: "Mfundo yozama kwambiri ya umunthu ndi chikhumbo chofuna kudziwika."

Mwina njira yotsimikizika kwambiri yofika pamtima wa munthu ndikumuwuza kuti mukuzindikira kufunikira kwake ndikuchita moona mtima.

Kumbukirani mawu a Emerson: "Munthu aliyense amene ndimakumana naye ndi wamkulu kuposa ine kudera lina, ndipo ndili wokonzeka kuphunzira kwa iye."

Ndiye kuti, ngati pulofesa wa masamu, mukufuna kupambana pa dalaivala wosavuta yemwe sanamalize maphunziro a sekondale, muyenera kuyang'ana kuthekera kwake koyendetsa galimoto, kutha kutuluka munthawi yamagalimoto owopsa, ndikuthetsa mavuto amgalimoto omwe simungathe kuwapeza. Komanso, izi sizingakhale zabodza, chifukwa m'derali alidi katswiri, chifukwa chake, sizikhala zovuta kutsindika kufunikira kwake.

Disraeli nthawi ina anati: "Yambani kukambirana ndi munthuyo za iye, ndipo azikumverani kwa maola ambiri.".

Chifukwa chake, ngati mukufuna kupambana anthu, lamulo # 6 ndilo: Lolani anthu amve kufunikira kwawo, ndipo chitani moona mtima.

Momwe mungapangire anzanu

Tiyeni tidule mwachidule. Kuti mupambane anthu, tsatirani malamulo omwe amapezeka m'buku la Carnegie lakuti How to Win Friends and Influence People:

1. 1. Onetsani chidwi chenicheni mwa anthu ena;
   2. Kumwetulira;
   3. Lowezani mayina;
   4. Khalani womvera wabwino;
   5. Onetsani zokambirana zanu mozungulira zokonda za mnzanu;
   6. Lolani anthu amve kufunikira kwawo.

Mapeto ake, ndikulimbikitsani kuwerenga zolemba zosankhidwa zaubwenzi. Zachidziwikire kuti malingaliro a anthu odziwika pamutuwu akhala othandiza komanso osangalatsa kwa inu.