Cholakwika chachikulu chodziwika Ndichinyengo chomwe timakumana nacho tsiku lililonse ndipo chimafufuzidwa pafupipafupi kuposa ena. Koma tiyeni tiyambe ndi nkhani yaying'ono.
Ndimakhala ndi msonkhano wabizinesi nthawi ya 16:00. Pofika mphindi zisanu ndinali nditafika kale. Koma mzanga kunalibe. Sanatulukire ngakhale patadutsa mphindi zisanu. Ndipo pambuyo pa 10 nayenso. Pomaliza, nthawi itakwana mphindi 15 zapitazo, adawonekeranso. “Komabe, ndi munthu wosasamala bwanji,” ndinaganiza, “sungathe kuphika phala ndi zotere. Zikuwoneka ngati zazing'ono, koma kusasunga nthawi kumanena zambiri. "
Patadutsa masiku awiri, tinapangana kuti tidzakambirane nkhani zina. Ndipo mwamwayi ndinali nawo, ndinalowa mumsewu. Ayi, sikuti ngozi, kapena china chilichonse chovuta kwambiri, ndizomwe zimachitika pamadzulo mumzinda waukulu. Mwambiri, ndidachedwa mochedwa pafupifupi mphindi 20. Nditawona mzanga, ndidayamba kumufotokozera kuti wolakwayo ndi misewu yodzaza, akuti, inenso sindine woti ndichedwe.
Ndipo mwadzidzidzi ndinazindikira kuti china chake sichinali bwino m'malingaliro anga. Kupatula apo, masiku awiri apitawo, ndidadzudzula bwenzi langa lopanda udindo kuti ndachedwa, koma nditachedwa ndekha, sizidandigwere kudziona choncho.
Vuto ndi chiyani? Nchifukwa chiyani ubongo wanga unayesa mosiyana zomwe zidandichitikira ine ndi iye?
Likukhalira kuti pali cholakwika chachikulu pakupereka. Ndipo ngakhale ili ndi dzina lovuta, lingaliro ili limafotokoza chinthu chophweka chomwe timakumana nacho tsiku lililonse.
Kufotokozera
Cholakwika chachikulu chodziwika Ndi lingaliro mu psychology lomwe limatanthawuza cholakwika chodziwika, ndiko kuti, chizolowezi cha munthu chofotokozera zochita ndi machitidwe a anthu ena malinga ndi zomwe ali nazo, ndi machitidwe awo mwanjira zakunja.
Mwanjira ina, ndimakonda kuweruza anthu ena mosiyana ndi ife eni.
Mwachitsanzo, bwenzi lathu likakhala ndiudindo wapamwamba, timaganiza kuti izi zimangochitika mwangozi, kapena anali ndi mwayi - anali pamalo oyenera munthawi yoyenera. Tokha tikakwezedwa, timatsimikiza kwathunthu kuti izi ndi zotsatira za ntchito yayitali, yolimba komanso yolemetsa, koma osati mwangozi.
Chosavuta kwambiri, cholakwika chachikulu chofotokozedwera chikuwonetsedwa ndi malingaliro awa: "Ndakwiya chifukwa ndi momwe zinthu ziliri, ndipo mnansi wanga wakwiya chifukwa ndi munthu woyipa."
Tiyeni titenge chitsanzo china. Mnzathu yemwe timaphunzira naye atakhoza bwino mayeso, timafotokoza izi chifukwa chakuti "sanagone usiku wonse ndikuphimba nkhaniyo" kapena "adangokhala ndi mwayi ndi khadi la mayeso." Ngati ife tomwe tidapambana mayeso bwino, ndiye kuti tili ndi chitsimikizo kuti izi zidachitika chifukwa chodziwa bwino mutuwo, komanso - maluso apamwamba amalingaliro.
Zifukwa
Chifukwa chiyani timakonda kudziyesa tokha komanso anthu ena mosiyanasiyana? Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zingapo zolakwika zoyambira.
- Choyamba, timadziwona tokha moyenera, ndipo timawona kuti machitidwe athu ndi abwinobwino. Chilichonse chosiyana nacho, timachiyesa ngati chachilendo.
- Kachiwiri, timanyalanyaza zomwe zimatchedwa kuti udindo wa munthu. Ndiye kuti, sitimaganizira za malo ake munthawi inayake.
- Komanso, kusowa chidziwitso chazidziwitso kumachita gawo lalikulu pano. Kulephera kumachitika m'moyo wa wina, timawona zinthu zakunja zokha pamaziko omwe timapeza ziganizo. Koma sitikuwona zonse zomwe zimachitika m'moyo wamunthu.
- Pomaliza, podzinenera kuti ndife opambana, timadzipatsa kudzidalira, zomwe zimatipangitsa kumva bwino. Kupatula apo, miyezo iwiri ndiyo njira yosavuta yodzikweza: kudziwonetsera nokha ndikuweruza nokha ndi ntchito zabwino, ndikuwona zolinga za ena kudzera mu prism yoyipa, ndikuweruza ndi zochita zoyipa. Werengani za momwe mungadzidalire pano.)
Momwe mungachitire ndi vuto lalikulu lazopatsa
Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, poyesa kuchepetsa cholakwika choyambira, pomwe zolimbikitsira ndalama zimagwiritsidwa ntchito ndipo omwe akutenga nawo mbali adachenjezedwa kuti adzawayankha mlandu pazowerengera zawo, padakhala kusintha kwakukulu pakulondola kwakupereka. Kuchokera apa zikutsatira kuti kupotoza kwachidziwitso kumeneku kumatha ndipo kuyenera kulimbana.
Koma apa pakubuka funso lomveka: ngati sizingatheke kuthana ndi izi, bwanji, kuti muchepetse kupezeka kwakulakwitsa kwakuperekaku?
Mvetsetsani ntchito yosasintha
Mwinamwake mwamvapo mawu akuti: "Ngozi ndichizindikiro chapadera." Ili ndi funso lanzeru, chifukwa malamulo amitundu yonse sitingamvetsetse kwa ife. Ndiye chifukwa chake timafotokozera zinthu zambiri mwangozi. Chifukwa chiyani mudapezeka kuti muli pano, pompano komanso momwe muliri? Ndipo ndichifukwa chiyani muli pachiteshi cha IFO tsopano mukuwonera kanemayu?
Ndi anthu ochepa omwe amaganiza kuti kuthekera kwakubadwa kwathu ndichinsinsi chodabwitsa. Kupatula apo, pazinthu zambiri zomwe zidachitika kuti izi zichitike mwakuti mwayi wopambana lotale wachilengedwechi sangaganiziridwe. Ndipo chodabwitsa kwambiri ndikuti tilibe chochita ndi izi!
Pozindikira zonsezi ndikuzindikira kuti zinthu zambiri zomwe sitingathe kuzilamulira (zomwe timazitcha kuti zosasintha), tiyenera kudzizindikira komanso kukhala ololera kwa ena. Kupatula apo, ngati udindo wosasintha umakhudzanso inu, ndiye kuti umafunikira kwa anthu ena.
Kulitsani kumvera ena chisoni
Chisoni ndikumvera chisoni munthu wina. Ndi gawo lofunikira kuthana ndi vuto lalikulu lazopatsa. Yesetsani kudziyika nokha m'malo mwa munthu wina, onetsani kumvera ena chisoni, yang'anani zochitikazo kudzera m'maso mwa munthu amene mukufuna kumuweruza.
Mungafunike kuyesetsa pang'ono kuti mumvetsetse bwino chifukwa chake zonse zidayenda mwanjira ina osati mwanjira ina.
Werengani zambiri za izi m'nkhani "Hanlon's Razor, kapena Chifukwa Chake Muyenera Kuganiza Bwino za Anthu."
Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti nthawi zambiri timagwera mumsampha wolakwika pamene tili ofulumira kuweruza zomwe zidachitika.
Tiyeneranso kukumbukira kuti ngati mumachita chifundo nthawi zonse, zimakhala ngati chizolowezi, ndipo sizimafunikira kuyesetsa kwambiri.
Chifukwa chake kumvera chisoni kumanyalanyaza zomwe zimachitika chifukwa chakulakwitsa kwakukulu. Ofufuzawo amakhulupirira kuti mchitidwewu umapangitsa munthu kukhala wokoma mtima.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati mudadulidwa pamsewu, yesani kulingalira kuti munthuyo ali ndi vuto linalake, ndipo anali wofulumira kwambiri, ndipo sanachite izi kuti asonyeze "kuzizira" kwake kapena kungokukhumudwitsani.
Sitingadziwe zochitika zonsezi, bwanji osayesetsa kupeza chifukwa chomveka chazomwe mnzakeyo wachita? Kuphatikiza apo, mwina mumakumbukira milandu yambiri pomwe inuyo mudadula ena.
Koma pazifukwa zina nthawi zambiri timatsogoleredwa ndi mfundo iyi: "Ngati ine ndikuyenda pansi, madalaivala onse ndi achinyengo, koma ngati ndili woyendetsa, onse oyenda pansi ndi zinyalala."
Ndiyeneranso kudziwa kuti kukondera uku kumatha kutipweteka kuposa momwe kumathandizira. Kupatula apo, titha kulowa m'mavuto akulu chifukwa chakumverera kwathu chifukwa chakulakwitsa. Chifukwa chake, ndibwino kupewa zotsatirapo zoyipa m'malo mothana nazo pambuyo pake.
Ngati muli ndi chidwi ndi mutuwu, ndikulimbikitsani kuti muzisamala za zomwe zimawoneka bwino kwambiri.
Komanso, kuti mumvetsetse zolakwika zazikuluzikulu, onani nkhani ya Stephen Covey, wolemba buku limodzi lodziwika bwino lachitukuko, Zizolowezi 7 za Anthu Otukuka Kwambiri.